How To Get Your Ex To Text You Back

Sep 21

Today I want to examine how to get your ex to text you back.

As you start trying to text your ex back after a breakup, one of the first hurdles you’re likely to face is how to get your ex to text you back. After all, the whole process kind of falls moot if you can’t get your ex to reply.

If you’re following the Text Your Ex Back Michael Fiore program, one of the first things to keep in mind is that it’s perfectly normal to not receive a reply to your first few texts. So don’t fret it if your ex doesn’t reply right away.

Just because your ex doesn’t reply doesn’t mean the texts aren’t working. Getting your ex back is a marathon, not a sprint, and no single text is going to turn your entire relationship around.

When talking about not getting a response to your texts, Michael Fiore says…

“Whatever you do, DO NOT FREAK OUT and DO NOT SEND A LOT of messages in a row. We’re trying to project confidence here, and confident, attractive people do NOT freak out. Rest assured that your ex DID receive your message. And just by reading the message, you’ve moved them ever so slightly down the path to reconciliation.”

How To Get Your Ex To Text You Back

When you send a text message from your cell phone, there’s no guarantee your ex is going to respond. There’s no set of words that is going to magically “force” your ex to respond. Besides, trying to force your ex to respond is the last thing you want to do.

Even though there’s no guarantee you will get a response from your ex, there are a few key things you can do to greatly improve your chances of getting a reply…and a favorable one at that.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind while learning how to get your ex to text you back.

1.) Don’t Send Multiple Texts

If you send out a text message and don’t get a response, don’t follow it up with a bunch more texts saying things like, “Hey, I’ve texted you 3 times and you aren’t responding. What’s up?” or “Why aren’t you texting me back?”

Doing so will make you appear extremely needy and desperate and will greatly reduce the likelihood of your ex replying now or in the future. A good rule of thumb is to never send more than 2 texts in a row without getting a response.

Depending on how the relationship ended, your ex may need more time before they are ready to talk to you again. Play it cool and wait a few weeks before you send another message if you don’t get a response right away.

Giving things more time is often all that is needed to start getting a reply.

2.) Formulate Your Texts So They Don’t Put Pressure On Your Ex To Reply

Knowing how to get your ex to text you back often means formulating your texts in a way that doesn’t put any pressure on your ex to respond. It may seem counter intuitive, but when you want to text your ex back, not every text is intended to get a reply. This is especially true early on.

Many are simply used to plant fun, happy thoughts and memories in your ex’s mind so they start thinking about you again in a positive way. In Text Your Ex Back, Michael Fiore, does an excellent job of explaining this and provides multiple types of texts you can use for different situations.

The best kinds of texts allow your ex to respond if they want to, but they don’t make your ex feel cornered or like they HAVE to respond. This is often referred to as giving your ex an “out”.

3.) Keep Your Texts Positive And Upbeat

If you want to get your ex to text you back, then you’ll want to keep your text messages positive and upbeat.

In order to text your ex back, you’ll need to keep your text messages focused on creating a positive experience with your ex. Don’t use them to get into any long conversations or to talk about every day things like work, school, the kids, etc.

And absolutely don’t use them to talk about the negatives of the past relationship or to get into a fight with your ex. If you do, your ex is likely to clam up and just ignore you altogether.

Something Michael Fiore talks about in Text Your Ex Back that I agree with is using texts as a “virgin territory” to create a type of “fantasy world” outside of everything else. This text message fantasy world has the sole purpose of helping you and your ex reconnect and reestablish all the strong, positive feelings you once shared for each other.

Michael Fiore says…

“Our goal is to create a “fantasy world” over text, and the best way to kill that buzz is to text about picking the kids up from school or taxes. If it’s impossible to stop talking about that stuff over text, keep the conversations as short and practical as possible.”

Refuse to go negative over text, even if your ex tries to take the conversation in that direction.

4.) Use “Across The Bow Texts” And “Curiosity Pivots” Rather Than “Nothing Texts” To Start The Conversation

Part of learning how to get your ex to text you back involves picking the right kind of texts to send in the right situations. Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back can really help in this regard as he talks about using across the bow texts and curiosity pivots to start conversations instead of what most people use which he refers to as nothing texts.

I’ll let Michael explain…

“What’s a “nothing” text? It’s a text that doesn’t actually SAY anything and doesn’t leave any “hooks” for positive interaction…Basically, if a text sounds like it was written by a 19-year-old frat boy, it probably counts as a “Nothing” text and should be avoided (even if you ARE a 19-year-old frat boy).”

Nothing texts are usually things like “Hey”, “Yo”, or “What’s up?” that don’t take the conversation anywhere and don’t create any curiosity for your ex to want to respond.

If you want to learn how to get your ex to text you back, then focus on more engaging conversation starters.

5.) 3 Types Of Texts You Never Want To Send

Since we are on the subject of getting your ex to reply to your texts, we should also talk about types of texts you never want to send. These are likely to be ignored and even if your ex does respond, it probably won’t be in a very favorable way.

Watch this quick video that explains more…

A Final Word

If you’ve gone through these guidelines and have figured out how to get your ex to text you back, then you’ll quickly realize your ex will respond in one of 4 ways:

  • No response at all
  • A negative response
  • A neutral response
  • A positive response

Knowing how to respond back to your ex after they respond to you is just as important as getting them to respond in the first place. Another thing I love about the Michael Fiore Text Your Ex Back program is that Michael addresses each of these types of responses and even gives examples of how your ex is probably going to reply to certain kinds of texts.

I know Michael isn’t psychic, but it’s pretty cool when your ex responds almost identically to how he predicts they will respond.

But addressing these responses is a topic for another day.